Hello friends and neighbors I am here to tell you a few things and ask you a few questions. Are you a Catholic? How many times did you go to church last year? How many other “saint days” did you celebrate? St. Patrick’s Day maybe? How about after that? Well here is a list of other catholic saints for your edification:
Accountants Matthew
Actors Genesius
Air travelers Joseph of Cupertino
Altar boys John Berchmans
Architects Barbara
Art Catherine of Bologna
Artists Luke
Astronomers Dominic
Athletes Sebastian
Authors Francis de Sales
Bakers Elizabeth of Hungary
Bankers Matthew
Barren women Antony of Padua
Beggars Alexius, Giles
Blind Raphael
Bookbinders Peter Celestine
Bookkeepers Matthew
Booksellers John of God
Boy Scouts George
Bricklayers Stephen
Brides Nicholas of Myra
Broadcasters Archangel Gabriel
Builders Vincent Ferrer
Cab drivers Fiacre
Cancer victims Peregrine Laziosi
Carpenters Joseph
Charitable societies Vincent de Paul
Childbirth Gerard Majella
Children Nicholas of Myra
Church Joseph
Comedians Vitus
Cooks Martha
Cripples Giles
Dancers Vitus
Deaf Francis de Sales
Dentists Apollonia
Desperate situations Jude
Domestic animals Antony
Drinking, nookie, all things good and dumb John The Elder
Dying Joseph
Ecologists Francis of Assisi
Editors John Bosco
Emigrants Frances Xavier Cabrini
Falsely accused Raymund Nonnatus
Farmers Isidore the Farmer
Fathers Joseph
Fire fighters Florian
Fire prevention Catherine of Siena
Fishermen Andrew, Peter
Foundlings Holy Innocents
Funeral directors Joseph of Arimathea
Gardeners Adelard
Girls Agnes
Glassworkers Luke
Gravediggers Antony the Abbot
Grocers Michael
Hairdressers Martin de Porres
Heart patients John of God
Hospitals Camillus de Lellis, John of God
Hotelkeepers Amand
Invalids Roch
Jewelers Eligius
Journalists Francis de Sales
Laborers Isidore
Lawyers Thomas More, Yves
Learning Ambrose
Librarians Jerome
Lost articles Antony of Padua
Lovers Valentine
Mariners Nicholas of Tolentine
Married women Monica
Mentally ill Dympna
Messengers Gabriel
Midwives Raymund Nonnatus
Missions Francis Xavier, Therese of Lisieux, Leonard of Port Maurice
Mothers Monica
Musicians Cecelia, Gregory
Nurses Agatha, Camillus de Lellis, John of God
Orators John Chrysostom
Orphans Jerome Emiliani
Painters Luke
Pawnbrokers Nicholas of Myra
Philosophers Catherine of Alexandria, Justin
Physicians Cosmas and Damian, Luke
Plasterers Bartholomew
Poets David
Police officers Michael
Poor Antony of Padua
Postal workers Gabriel
Preachers Catherine of Alexandria, John Chrysostom
Pregnant women Gerard Majella
Priests John Vianney
Printers Augustine, Genesius, John of God
Prisoners Dismas
Radio workers Gabriel
Rheumatism James the Greater
Sailors Brendan, Erasmus, Francis of Paola
Scholars Brigid
Scientists Albert the Great
Sculptors Claude
Secretaries Genesius
Servants Martha
Sick John of God, Camillus de Lellis
Skaters Lidwina
Skiers Bernard
Social justice Joseph
Social workers Louise de Marillac
Soldiers George, Martin of Tours
Students Catherine of Alexandria, Thomas Aquinas
Surgeons Cosmas and Damian, Luke
Tax collectors Matthew
Teachers Gregory, John Baptist de la Salle
Television Clare of Assisi
Theologians Alphonsus Liguori, Augustine
Throat ailments Blaise
Travelers Christopher
Vintners Amand, Morand, Vincent
Vocations Alphonsus
Widows Paula
Women in labor Anne
Writers Francis de Sales
Youth Aloysius Gonzaga

Now, why are you celebrating St. Valentines day? Is it because you love Hallmark, FTD, and Heresy's chocolate so much that you want to give them more money? Ok, first off, Hallmark is a company run by Satan. According to the catholic church, Hallmark has led to more divorces, fights and murders from missed “Hallmark Holidays” then any other person, place or thing in the history of man. Last year there was more violence generated in the world because of Hallmark then all of the world wars put together! So why are you giving them your money? Here are two suggestions (this first one was brought to my attention by my lab partner Tim), either pick a day with your significant other and choose that as your "special day" when you want to show them how much you care. This way the day is special to you, no marked up flower prices, ugly heart cards or cheap candy sold at a 200% mark up. Now if you are really looking forward to this Valentine's day cause it's when you can either really show your sig-other how much you care for them or because that is the only day that they are nice to you then perhaps you should consider that there are over 300 other days in the year that you can do this and it doesn't have to be an annual event. If you are completely without imagination or you have too many sig-others causing confusion in regard to which day goes with which one then there is the saint day that isn't well known but very special just for you. You will be happy to know that February 13th is St. John the Elder's Day, St. John the Elder is the patron saint of Drinking, Nookie, All things good and dumb so even if you don't have a significant other you can still celebrate it with your friends without getting that "weird" feeling.
Here are the responses that I got from this message...

"Boy oh boy, sorry i gave you that valentine, i need no chocolate or diamonds, really..." (From Jen Shepherd)