35 WAYS TO DRIVE YOUR ROOMMATE MAD

TRUST ME IT WORKS I HAVE TRIED THEM ALL

  1. If your lucky enough to be sleeping very close to your roommates bed then while your both trying to go to sleep and you get those nightly gas attacks, you know, like your stomach gurgled all day long and all you ate was cabbage to subside your hunger. You carefully lift their bed sheet and stick your butt under it and SQUEEEEEKKK you can gas them in their sleep!

  2. This is what I call a car game and it is more fun if the roommate has a manual transmission and lever-parking break. When in the car and stopped usually at a red light pull up on the parking break. When the roommate goes to disengage the parking break then you take the car out of gear, when they go to put the car back in gear pull up on the parking break and so on. I have done this through two red lights and it pisses of the roommate and all around as they wait for their car to go.
  3. Take an empty peanut butter jar, I used jiff and, with the remnants of peanut butter in it. Then pee in the jar, the odor is quite nasty so do not inhale, then leave the jar in the roommates room for them to unpleasantly find or put the top back on and put it back on the shelf.
  4. Once you have finished a milk container there is usually a little left on the bottom then leave it in a closet or out of sight for about a week or two until the contents turn yellow green. Then when your roommate isn't expecting it loosen the cap, sneak up on them and squeeze the jug so that all of the air blows on them, quite a stink. It is usually best to do it in their room so that the smell can linger without being a to you.
  5. This is a particularly nasty on and quite simple and effective all you have to do is shit in the tub, yes that is right pop a squat in the tub and leave it there, it is normally best to do this early in the morning right before the roommate gets up for two reasons, first the smell will be quite nasty and you really don't want the shit to linger secondly if your lucky the roommate might not notice it and step in the shit making it twice as nice of a prank.
  6. Another easy on is simply not flushing the toilet when you use it this is best if the roommate goes away for a weekend and you aren't expecting any guests you can amass quite a little cesspool for them to find it works best if you keep the lid down so the roommate has to bend closer to the surprise and gets a face full before recalling back.
  7. If you get up before your roommate you can leave large globs of toothpaste in the sink I mean extreme toothpaste waste
  8. One of my favorites is to leave empty food containers on the shelves or in the fridge This will cause the roommate quite a bit of stress like when he wants to make macaroni and cooks the noodles just to find that the butter tub is empty.
  9. Similar to above is drinking the last beverage but the key is to do something like this, if there is a little milk left poor yourself the rest and leave the empty container in the fridge then make yourself and your roommate something to eat like a nice peanut butter sandwich, they'll appreciate the gesture until they realize there is nothing to drink.
  10. This is an old favorite take three cans of beans and make labels for them one Happy Beans, One Jumping Beans, and the last Kill your roommate Beans. Eat them in that order and leave the empty kill your roommate bean container on the counter when t hey come in the house grin evilly at them till they notice the can.
  11. Tape a large nail to the bottom of their shoe or a small tack if you really don't like them. The theory is that they will see the nail but not a tack.
  12. Every time you come home and your roommate is there run into their room and jump on their bed when they ask what your doing say "I gota get my exercise"
  13. When your roommate is not home rearrange their room so that it is completely opposite to the way it was.
  14. When your roommate is out unfold and switch all of their socks so that they don't match
  15. If they have a lot of books arrange them in alphabetical order by title not author.
  16. When sitting together and the phone rings say "the phone is ringing " and then look at them blankly.
  17. Go out and find the biggest rock you can set it in your room talk to it, hug it, and feed it. Have better and longer conversations with the rock then with your roommate.(my rocks name is spot and I got it a hair piece because it was feeling .
  18. When your roommate asks you to turn to _____channel scroll the longest way possible and never go there directly.
  19. When pouring your roommates favorite drink over fill the glass and leave the mess when questioned about it say "I thought that you would want it.
  20. make answering machine messages and leave out their name.
  21. When ever you leave together go out last and make your roommate lock the door
  22. When going to bed set the alarm clock for five minutes after you go to bed when the alarm goes off say poops and hit the snooze button when it goes off again say poops and hit the snooze button keep doing this until the roommate fixes the clock.
  23. constantly contradict yourself and argue both sides of arguments(no wait don't)
  24. When your about to go to be and the lights are off say, "have you ever noticed that your pinkie and index finger feel the same when they are up your ass? later say "WOOOOO!! the thumb is definitely identifiable.
  25. When both in room eat cookies over their bed and laugh a lot.
  26. When in the bedroom together jump on your roommates bed and sit on his pillow and fart then say "whooo that one squirted"
  27. Eat lots of raw tuna and leave the containers about the room
  28. Tie the refrigerator door to the freezer door with a garbage bag tie
  29. Make cool aide but don't add sugar
  30. buy a crossword puzzle and ask him about every question.
  31. Answer everyone of his questions with "your mom"
  32. Sneeze on them whenever possible and then look innocently at them and say "Bless me?"
  33. while brushing your teeth together spit on their toothbrush
  34. Blame pet rocks for foul smells
  35. While the roommate is taking a shower, break into the bathroom, now this takes a little skill cause hopefully by this time the roommate is pretty neurotic and locks the door. But the nice thing is how easy it is to pick bathroom doors, unless you h aave my roommate who brings the 'Door Club' with him to keep me out. Once inside the bathroom light an M-80, now it is important that you use at least an M-80 for this or else I can not guarantee that the full effect will be reached. Then slam the door shut and run like hell. It is also important that you slam the door so the roommate will peek his/her head out in time for the explosion. Now I have found that this prank causes at least temporary hearing loss, my roommate still complains, 4 months later about a constant ringing in his ear.
  36. Ok if the roommate has a pet, I discovered a neat little trick, this is only if you don't like the pet cause it is sort of cruel, actually it is very cruel. Also for this you need something rather exotic, a cholla cactus other wise known as the jumping cactus. So you plan it like this wait till the roommate and pet are in the same room together, bring in a cholla, very carefully and act rather dumb about it. Pick it up and say, "Hey look what I found" and then "ouch!!" as that damn cactus pricks you, fling the cactus down, at the dog and whammo!! the dog yelps and cries as the cactus bites into it. This is the fun part, the dog or what ever, loves its master very much and vice versa so when it is hurt it runs to them and the roommate runs to their pet, now is when the fun begins as the cactus jumps on the roommate!!! Hours and hours of fun can be had watching the pass off of the cactus from pet to roommie
  37. After taking a nice stinky poop take a room fan and blow the pooh air into their room, the creeping death smell is a nasty surprise for them, and it's amazing how easily the pooh smell will enter the room and how difficult it will be for them to purge their room of the stink
  38. The next method of roommate insainity getting can best be described with a picture. First you must set a mop up like MOP Then you have to set the mop up like this, Schematic. The following is a reinacctment that occured when such a device was set up outside the bathroom door, Trap
  39. while in the passenger side of your room mate's girlfriend's car, and your room mate is driving, de-pant yourself, open the car door enough to fit your naked ass out of it and then proceed to defecate on the street at 35+ mph! the secret is to not get any poop on the car and not get arrested for a handful of violations, not to mention to not fall out of the car.
  40. While at the grocery store make your roommate push you around in the cart, while you hold your arm out like a greek in the parthenon declaring yourself emperor of the store, then when they get to the check out line roll out onto the conveyer belt and ride it to the checker, the checkers really hate it when you do that (I have a confession, I didn't do this with my roommate but my girl friend instead, but had my roommate have been there I'd have done it to him too!)

To be continued after further experimentation